be able to have? How do you live with the feelings that this brings on?How do you come to terms with the fact that you have a need or a want in your marriage that you will never ?
I have this problem myself with having children.
I may never be able to have them and it strains me every time I think about it.
How I've decided that I'm going to face it is that, I'm going to try my hardest to conceive - that means, watching my diet, going to doctors for help (reproductive therapy, hormonal therapy...whatever is out there), and have tons of sex. (That's a high note).
When I come to the end of the rope, that hormones, and surgeries and every other aid out there has been used up - I will nod and tell myself...';I've done everything I could have.';
When I'm older, and absolutely am incapable of having kids because of my age, I will look back and say...';I have no regrets, I did everything humanly possible to have children.';
But I hope, that by then, I would have adopted enough children to fulfill that need to have a family to take care and raise.
I don't know your issues - but there's always a way, even if it means you can't work through it in your marriage. There are resources, agencies, and other people who could benefit from your experiences.
For me, if I find I can't have children of my own, I can at least have children grown out of love from my heart.How do you come to terms with the fact that you have a need or a want in your marriage that you will never ?
My need in my marriage was for my husband to be more affectionate, to spend more time with me and the kids, to respect me and not to make fun of me in front of other people and more. I tried to come to terms with all of that by just saying that my husband worked too hard and also that's how he was. Boy was I wrong, he was cheating on me and guess what. Out of twenty some odd years of marriage he had been cheating for ten. So, I just couldn't live with that. Unfortunately I am in the process of divorce. I hope your case is very much different than mine.
If there are things you need and want out of anything in life you either find a way to obtain it, or find a good compromise for the situation.
If there is no way to achieve this goal ask yourself, is what you want really going to change you or define who your are as a person?
Now if what you want is something for the betterment if your relationship and lets say you married an emotional dead person who can give you what you need emotionally, then you need to find passion in something else to get that emotional need met. Im not saying with another person, that would be wrong.
Think about you for once, what do you need...With me my passion is horses, i throw myself into the training and rescuing of unwanted horses, with this i opened my own horse rescue and boy do i have my hands full.
Never let wants and needs bring you down, sometimes all we have is things to wish for, if we had everything we wanted we would have nothing to long for.
Well, even though my frustration for my own needs gets to me constantly and emotionally breaks me down....after a few moments of holding my head down or shedding a tear...I just pick my self back up and look around and see...
My kids have a roof over their head, there is food on the table every single day, they run around laughing and are happy. My kids have everything they need....I am extremely lucky that we can provide everything they need for them.
How can I be selfish when I have given them so much happiness. I feel guilty for being selfish when I am so lucky.
Pray and trust God will bring you to a place in your marriage where you find happiness. Remember the vows you said, for better for worse? If what you are wanting is materialistic, then chances are, you will only get that item after you saved up for it.
Yep, it looks like someone here does not trust in God. I will pray for that person.
My husband is a gem. He stood by me through a horrible divorce, loves my son as his own, and chased me down insisting I would be his. He makes me coffee, cooks dinner and cleans, and makes me laugh. I truly love no other man. BUT.....let's just say he isn't a very sexual guy. Yes, I feel totally rejected at times, but I learned to live with it....or more like ';without it.'; Yes, when we do have sex, it's fantastic. But I cannot change him and make him into a huggy feely guy. I never even get a back rub, but he's more than happy to light candles for me every night and also draw me a bubble bath.
You decide if it's something you can live with, if you cannot deal without it talk to them and if it's not forthcoming then you need to decide if you want to stay or go elsewhere and see.... No easy way to deal with it you have to either accept it or not.
Be happy with what you have. Think of all the things you DON'T want that you don't have...be happy with that.
it's hard to really answer cause you didn't really say what you wanted/needed.
Some people think they need new shoes every week.....
I know that feeling!!!! and it never comes or once you lose it, it is gone for ever!!!!! So why look for it to come again!!!!! you just learn to live with it marriage is hard but once it is over it is over!!!!!!
You don't come to terms with it. You try to fix it. This question is a little vague so I don't know what to tell you. Never give up and settle. Find a way to make it happen.
you don't
you bail
you divorce
and vow to NEVER make the same mistakes again
you clarify what you want before any commitment
Fix it.Talk to your hubby.
try talking to your spouse about this need! you might be surprised
pray to God he will help
you have to pray to God. He can help you with everything.
whats wrong with my answer!? no one trusts God???
