It would usually depend on the relationship and character of the in-laws. If they are postive, encouraging and helpful, without being nosy and into your business, giving advice left and right, then it wouldn't hurt to not be so fake.
However, it is very popular, for outside family members to pry, gossip, talk and general take over one's marraige, if you let them.
Don't forget, in-laws are by nature biased, even with exceptions to the rule.
THE MAIN THING, is not focusing on your in-laws, but your MARRIAGE. If your marriage truly is bad, then in-laws or no in-laws, you need to fix it. See a professional, or unbaised third party to help you and your spouse in the marriage.
Making it work!
marriagefortoday.com
How do you act around your in-laws? Do you put on a happy act even when things are bad in your marriage?
If your marriage is not the best, it still doesn't give you an excuse to show off your worst side. I think this is a time for you and your husband to communicate how you feel and talk about getting some professional help. How you feel about marriage will reflect by how you handle this situation. Don't tell the whole world you have issues with your marriage. Marriage, like anything else worth having, takes work and dedication, on your part and your husband's. Act with respect around your in-laws, because you are married to their son, and they may think you are the problem, not their son if you tell them. So, keep it to yourself and communicate more with your husband.
What happens in your marriage stays within your marriage and within the walls in which you live. Never, never, never involve a third party. That can destroy your marriage. Work on it together....never involve especially your in-laws or let them see that there is something wrong.
For example, let say that you're angry at your husband and tell his or your mom, you guys may make up later, but the mother's will stay angry and that will stay at the back of their minds.
I have learned to be happy go lucky in front of everyone when I have had a moment of anger towards my husband...letting others know solves absolutely nothing. That's what a marriage is for....communication. Work it out between the two of you then go and have some awesome make up sex. :) Enjoy your marriage!
Hi, my daughter in law came to me a couple of years ago and let me know that things were not that rosy with my son and her. We had many tears together as we both feared the worse. I did try and approach my son regarding this but he did not want to discuss it at the time, and said that my daughter in law should not have told me either. At the time I was living in a in-law suite in their basement and we have always been very close. Things did improve a bit over time and now are great once again, thank God, but at the time we were all scared especially for the grand daughters. So today my son is much more open regarding discussing his family and my daughter in law and I continue to live a super relationship. She truly is the daughter I never had and can and does say whatever is on her mind to me, and me in return. I feel honoured that she is so close and has told me that she is more comfortable talking with me than her own father. Why pretend when people can usually see through the BS anyway.
Always put on a happy face. In-laws will eventually use any ammunition against you as soon as they have a chance. Keep it to yourself while you are around them. Vent to a friend about it or someone who you trust. Now, if he starts fighting about it in front of them I would probably let it all out then but thats a decision between you two to act happy around them or not. GL to you!!!
Depends on what we're fighting about. If it's something they'll side with me on, I'll tell them...lol. Generally though, I don't tell them details of our problems.
Hubby is very close to his parents and had a bad habit of sharing our arguments with them. Every one. I finally told him that it was really none of their business what we argue about, and he needed to stop telling them everything. He agreed and has stopped.
Always a happy face. It is my husband's decision to bring his folks into our issues or not. I certainly wouldn't want him talking to my parents about our issues, that is for me to decide.
We are recovering from infidelity and have not said a word to our parents. So far that is working well for us.
I was always respectful to them for that reason- respect. They are his family and it isn't their fault that we had our problems. I also did my best to keep whatever problems/issues we had between us discreet while he did the opposite.
Now that we are impending a divorce (with me filing against him) his family seems to hate me. They only consider his side of the coin.
WIth my ex husband I use to do that because I did not want his crazy mom involved in our personal business. Which I guess was the right thing cause the day she found out we were getting a divorce she came to my house and tried to kick my @ss, she even tried to slap me while I was holding my 4 year old daughter.
Usually, my mother in law, is very insightful, about problems. However, if i don't want her to give us critisism or advice, i won't tell her. I'll ask for help when i need it because it is HER son, but i also expect the same respect. Like, I am his wife, so i have a very different relationship with him.
Well I'm not going to lay it all out on the table for them, because it's not their business. If I can hide it I will. Then again, sometimes getting family involved can help you resolve issues.......sometimes.
I havent met my in laws yet but i never let my problem get the best of me when i am out in public especially in family and friends . If i am not in the mood i just dont go at all
well act a little cautious around them when you first meet them and then once you see how they are and wat they act like then it will kinda put some guide lines down on how to act around them
It depends on what the situation is, but for the most part the happy act..
a happy face i guess. no sense inviting everyone into it.
Yes I have submitted to them for they are very nice to me.
Medium....I talked to MIL about our problems, but put on a friendly face when we were all together.
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